I conquered my Paper Mountain on Memorial Day 2020.
An ironic date, looking back.
This day was monumentally important for me.
As I shared my victory with a small group of friends, I realized that my Paper Mountain was a symbol of my own work and my journey.
Embracing kindness encouraged me to do the work, and once I got started, I felt encouraged to continue and keep moving.
At the start of the journey, I was constantly running away from myself, numbing in any way I could find.
At this point of the journey, I stand firm.
Facing myself and my fears.
The way the Paper Mountain looked also struck me as poetic: cluttered papers sliding off the top or popping out due to the immense pressure pushing down.
My Paper Mountain reflected my life before I took control:
Thoughts and ideas were all lost in a giant mound.
Creativity couldn’t grow here!
It was complete chaos and I couldn’t see what was what.
Before accepting that I needed help, my life was the same way: ideas lost, creativity starved and unable to grow, and complete chaos clouded my vision.
The work can be messy too, just like the process of sorting and cleaning up. However, there is something beautiful about getting to the core of our issues, which I learned from experience. Sometimes the path is rough. Sometimes you need a jacket. Something you need to lay down and take a nap on the side of the road. Sometimes, we may feel we made a bigger mess, and cleanliness will never return.
The point is: you have to keep moving through the journey if you want the changes you seek.
This is symbolic of how we can all hide from our truths until we are forced to face them, usually during some sort of emotional blow up, that we have been stifling or running from for years. The paperwork, and my truth, followed me everywhere I went until I fully dealt with them.
It's been months since I conquered the Paper Mountain.
The rewards were more than I expected:
No “Fuck!”s were uttered while searching for documents needed for my new mortgage.
I am excited to receive mail again.
I’ve even found a solid reason to always open mail: sometimes someone has sent you a check. Sometimes, that check is for a significant amount of money. Often there is a time limit on when you can cash the check. A time limit that had lost me a good deal of cash over the years.
Gone are the days of fear and focusing on the idea that something scary was in those letters. The scary shit days of 2001 snail-mail are long gone. All my Creditors have been paid now too.
Since conquering my Paper Mountain, I have shredded, recycled, filed, or addressed all incoming mail. Sometimes even on my way from the mailbox to my home office. The worst I let it grow to now is about the size of a bunny hill that I can pick up in one hand.
Both doing the work and having a clean and designated area for my paperwork proved that I can do anything I set my mind to. And, I don’t know about you, but the knowledge and impact of that is huge for me!
I feel stronger and more confident; and my energy is vastly higher.